Inspiring families to find their happy place.

6 Ways to Sneak in More Family Time

Lovely image by Vivienne McMaster. Click image to learn more about Vivienne.

You’re at a restaurant. The wait appears neverending. Of course, naturally, your whole family takes out their gadgets — not to find the menu, or the reviews, or how to get to the next destination — but to surf or play games.

You know, anything but talk to each other. Anything but wait. Anything but do nothing. Anything but sit in silence. Anything but …

Or, you’re at home and everyone is bored to tears so you grab your iPhone and your son grabs his Nintendo DS and your daughter grabs her LeapPad and your husband grabs his iPad.

Now everyone feels better. Now no one has to look at each other. Now no one has to try and get along.

{I’m not really talking about YOU by the way.}

I’d love to remember just how I “met” Rachel Stafford. One thing led to another and I ended up on her blog, Hands Free Mama. Immediately, I fired off a comment or an email to her saying that I thought we might have a few things in common. She agreed. We’ve become fast Virtual friends.

Rachel and I take slightly different approaches to saying basically the same thing: We only get one precious life to be with our family so let’s not waste it. Rachel’s mission is to provide people with the inspiration, motivation, and tools to let go of daily distraction so they can grasp the moments in life that matter and live more meaningfully.

In this Awesomely Awake world, we appreciate that we will be distracted with life’s many amazing, wonderful things but that we must make a very clear intention every single day to put the Live in Living first and foremost so that we can teach our children how to really, really live fully during their one, wild precious life. It’s about moderation, really. But isn’t everything?

Another fab image from Vivienne McMaster. Click image to find her!

Rachel agreed to an interview here and I’d like to highlight what I learned from her interview by using her words to create a list of how to TRY to lead a distraction-free life:

DESIGNATE MEDIA TIME: Rachel says, “I have approximately seven hours each day when my family is not home. Those are the hours I write and work online. I also utilize time in the evening to work once my family goes to bed. I will be honest, I seldom “get done” everything I want to do in a day, but that is a pressure I have learned to let go of – the pressure to “do it all,” which almost cost me everything I hold dear.”

BAKE TOGETHER: This tradition started when my oldest child was two-years-old and she helped make her own birthday cake. I was amazed at how much she could do to help, and before we knew it, she was even cracking eggs! Our baking tradition has evolved into our family’s favorite way to express kindness and appreciation to people in our lives. Every holiday, we make goodies to package up and give to others as a way of saying “thank you.” We include people inside our inner circle of family and friends, but we also strive to include people who provide services in our lives like the trash collectors and mail carrier.

GET OFF THE SIDELINES: I have gone from watching my children play to being part of the action. In the past eighteen months, I have done things that I haven’t done in decades. My kids delight in seeing me ride a scooter, slide down a grassy hill on a cardboard box, do a cannon ball into the pool with goggles on, climb a mountain of dirt, and pet a snake. I have never seen my kids laugh and smile as much as they do when I step into their world.

JUST TALK: When my oldest daughter was three, she asked for “talk time” at the conclusion of her bedtime routine one night.  We have continued “talk time” nightly for the last five years. During this sacred ten-minute period, I get to hear what is on my child’s heart and mind. She shares everything from what happened at school to what she wants to be when she grows up. She asks questions about everything from what she was like as a baby to what would happen if I die.

PLAY TOGETHER: One summer we did a simple science experiments together. We ended up inviting a few neighbors over for the weekly science lesson, and it became quickly became the highlight of each week. I used a book I discovered on clearance in the back of a craft store entitled, The Ultimate Book of Kid Concoctions. The ingredients were often things I had around the house and the steps were easy.  What I most enjoyed was hearing the children “hypothesize” about the expected outcome of the experiment and then watching their faces as the results unfolded – pure excitement, wonder, and delight! Who knew creating foamy paint, peanutty play dough, fruity lip gloss, and a crystal rock garden would lead to laughter, connection, memory making, and learning?

GIVE BACK: Our family is passionate about helping children in poverty situations. For the past four years, my family has helped me conduct a community-wide event where children in our neighborhood learn about what it means to live in poverty and fill empty shoeboxes with needed items. The shoeboxes are sent to children in impoverished countries through an organization called Operation Christmas Child. Each year my family seeks to educate more children in our community and touch more children with a shoebox gift than the year before. My daughters hope to surpass last year’s community total with a new goal of 500 lovingly filled shoeboxes for children in poverty. Luckily, my daughters are “planners extraordinaire” just like their mama and have already begun brainstorming ways to create more filled boxes.

Learn more about Rachel’s journey to grasp what matters on her blog www.handsfreemama.com or through “The Hands Free Revolution” on Facebook.

Learn more about Vivienne McMaster and the photography courses she teaches online here.

Rachel with her two lovelies

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Honor Family Links {show love edition}

This weekend can be simple. It truly can be. Call in sick. Don’t show up. Forget to go to that thing you were expecting to go to and say you’re sorry later. It’s better than saying sorry to the kids because of yet another weekend that rushed past without a fun moment in it — like sleeping in. Do the minimal for everyone but you and the ones you love.

Rather than rush, rush, rush let’s find ways to show love to our own family. Here are some links that inspired me this week.

Here are 10 easy and inexpensive ways to show love to your child from Little Wonders Days.

And here are 10 more easy and inexpensive ways to show love to your child from the same. Always good reminders.

Here are 4 more ideas for family night, too from a cute little blog title that’s new to me. I love the indoor snowball fight idea and will definitely be adding that to our list to do.

And, if this post isn’t enough, go to The Wise One and she’ll really explain it best.

Happy Weekend!

Photo credit: 5 Dollar Dinners’ Tree Pancakes, which can easily be made into a winter scene rather than Christmas.

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Make today a Yes day

Sometimes, it seems, all we do as parents is say no.

No. No. No.

And, many times, it’s in everyone’s best interest that we do respond with No. No, you cannot watch more TV. No, you may not have more ice cream. No, you cannot stay up late on a school night.

We also say no to ourselves a whole lot, as well. No, you cannot sleep in. No, you shouldn’t take that bubble bath in the middle of the day. No, you can’t call out sick to work.

But sometimes — probably more than we’d like to admit– Yes is more than necessary. It’s essential. It’s the difference between a good day and a bad day. It’s the difference between a grumpy child and a happy child. Yes can be the beginning of a happy memory. Yes can be the treat we all needed for a long, long time. Yes can be the hug someone needs.

That’s why the Yes Day was created. Yes to (nearly) everything.

Yes to watching TV and eating breakfast AT THE SAME TIME.

Yes to a donut.

Yes to potato chips with lunch.

Yes to playing some weird game that was created and I don’t know the rules and, therefore,I  lose.

Yes to more TV.

Yes to more junk food.

Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.

Of course, one yes leads to more, “Mommy, can I …” questions. And it seems as if the barage of questions and begging doesn’t end. And that’s why the one day of nothing but yeses feels so wonderful. There is no thought to it. Just say yes. Give yourself the break from debate of what is right and what is wrong. Give yourself the day off, in other words.

I’d like to think that most of the time, our family balances a great deal of yeses with a great deal of nos. Most days out of the week we dance the yes/no dance. The Yes Day helped the kids feel good about themselves and their decisions.

We all felt good. Like we did something crazy, or something.

Have you ever tried a Yes day at your house? I’d love to know some of the things you said yes to either then or on a regular basis!

Now that we’ve done the Yes Day with the kids, perhaps it’s time for an adults Yes Day — a day to say yes to our dreams, which may or may not be to sit in front of the TV eating a whole bag of potato chips with dip while watching movies.

Now that would be crazy.

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