Inspiring families to find their happy place.

Be a Gratitude Goddess

September 3, 2012 by 9 Comments
grateful

 

Last week, we set a new intention of just being grateful. Grateful for everything that crosses our paths, even those fleeting moments or fleeting beings that bring love and warmth for only a short time.

And then I showed you how to be Awesomely Thankful yourself each night by starting your own gratitude practice.

I want to continue this theme because it’s that important.

This week, we’re going to practice being Gratitude Goddesses.

A Gratitude Goddess practices being thankful in deeper ways than just writing a few words down on paper each night. She is thankful for all that she has in life and expects nothing more from anyone or anything. This means those random emotional shopping trips aren’t necessary anymore. This means those void-of-connection apps aren’t the meaning of life anymore. This means she doesn’t need Facebook bragging or Pinterest perfection running rampant on her computer screen because this right here — her life — is all that she needs.

She thanks her lucky stars everywhere she goes. In the car when she sees a double rainbow. In the garden when she sees random notes appear. In the mornings when the children rise early, just to see their faces once more.

Gratitude Goddesses also show others the importance of being thankful for what they have. They don’t bother with the Joneses because they are too busy forging their own path of authentic goodness. They are OK with the small house, the tiny yard, the beat-up but paid-off car. They are fine with the degree from that unknown school. They are OK with no fancy vacations because they just want to relax and be together. They are making up their own rules for their own life without fear or worries of what others think.

They are, and that’s all they need to be.

How about you? Are you a Gratitude Goddess? Will you join me in spreading the Gratitude Goddess goodness this week?

How are you enjoying what you have?

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Filed Under: Abundant Mamas, Mindful Living, Motherhood, Peaceful Living Tagged With: , , , ,

How to be Awesomely Thankful

August 30, 2012 by 17 Comments
Image Source: Mtsofan

 

Image Source: Mtsofan

Recently, a reader asked me about my Awesomely Thankful gratitude journal. What’s in it? What should she write? Can I share pictures?

Not every day can be great. Not as a parent. Not as a human being. Like you, I’ve had my times of difficult moments. Times when I felt left out. Times when I felt like I have no one in my life to really count on. Times when really bad things happen. Times of illnesses. Times of really difficult behavior challenges with the kids.

It’s not easy to be thankful when your day just feels plain awful.

But it is possible. I’ve been doing this practice for nearly two years. It has been life changing and I couldn’t imagine going to sleep each night without first saying thanks for all the blessings in my life.

Here’s how to find gratitude in the dark. Write just five things down in any journal you have lying around the house. Add the date to each entry. That’s it. Nothing fancy.

Here’s some prompts to spark your own gratitude practice:

1. Thank your body. Unless you’ve died, you still have plenty of reason to be thankful for your health. Even when something is wrong, there’s plenty that is still right. Being thankful for being alive is the single most important way to find gratitude during the hardest days. What is working well on your body today?

2. Thank those who show up. Lately, I’ve had to re-define what family means to me. It’s not what I thought it was, not when all of my family moved hundreds of miles away. I’ve since found ways to be thankful for the people who are showing up in our lives each and every week in new and amazing ways. From the friends we’re relying on to serve as our children’s emergency contacts to the people who are asking me how they can help when I’m sick. But not just them. I like to thank the people who make our lives better. Postal workers. Store clerks. Hairdressers. Who showed up for you today?

3. Thank the world around you. When times are really hard, I can always step outside and be grateful for something in nature. The sun shining. The moon rising. The rain quenching the earth. Birds chirping. Grass under my feet. What amazes you that’s outside your own web of life?

4. Thank what makes you happy. All things I write about seem to circle back to having happy days, and making memories. That’s right. Knowing that you are going to write in your journal is really a great way to practice making memories. Find the simple pleasures in life and do them each day. What makes you feel joy? What makes you happy? What brings you comfort? What makes you smile? Do those things. Write about them.

5. Thank your challenges. You may not always be ready for this one but eventually it’s good to see how the hard times are making your days better. For instance, when I was sick the past two weeks, I was thankful each day just for being alive and to have another day. I was pretty sick. : ) But, when we dealt with my husband’s lay off, we found ways to be thankful anyway. It’s the best way to pick yourself up. What hard luck story are you living right now and what’s the teachable moment  you’re learning and living as a result? How is your challenge making your life better?

6. Thank the kids. Of course, there’s always something wonderful and amazing about the kids. I write one line each about our daughters and what they’ve done to amaze me each day. Even when they’ve been in terrible state of minds, I write something good about them. It brings it all into perspective for me and our life together. It helps me see the big picture of where this is all going. What do you want to remember of your child today? What’s her talent? What’s his passion? What’s a quirky behavior that you can turn into a positive? What moment do you not want to forget that happened today? Be thankful for those moments because they are the most fleeting.

7. Thank your partner. What did he do for you today? What did he do right? How was she helpful or how did she show you love today? Did he interact with the kids in a special way? Don’t forget to notice the golden moments of love in your own relationships whether you are married or not.

8. Thank all evidence of Kindness and Courage. Did someone do something special for you? Did you do something special for someone else? Did you take a risk today? Be thankful for your ability to make someone’s day or your own. I’m not talking words. I’m talking actions. Less talk, more action. Write about someone who went above and beyond for you or for someone you know.

9. Thank those celebrations, rituals and traditions. If you have any, write them down because they are super special. If your children create any, write those down. What do you do every Sunday morning? Where do you go every Saturday? How do you pass the days in meaningful, amazing ways?

10.  Thank the good stuff. Finally, of course, you must write about the good things that happen to you and to those you love. And, the longer your keep this journal, the longer this part of the list becomes. Trust me. It’s true. What good luck did you have today? What blessings fell upon your lap? Did you land that big project? Meet a deadline? What did you do that was amazing and worth remembering? Be thankful for the goodness you helped bring to yourself and to your family.

How about you? What are you thankful for today? 

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And this.

August 26, 2012 by 5 Comments
gratitude

My latest mantra after being sick for a week has been … “and this.”

Still, I am thankful for the illness that opened my eyes a little bit bigger, for the kindness I’m giving myself, for the ever-so-slight slower pace my body is moving.

You can be thankful, too.

For that someone or something that entered your life and graced it with sunshine or beauty or smiles or tears. Whatever it was, whoever it was … thank them. Write them a note, send it in a bottle or send it blowing in the wind on a leaf. Write them a poem. Give him a line in your gratitude journal. Name a star for her.

For that life changing moment that left you sobbing on the floor. Practice a touch of grace because it’s making you that much stronger.

For the extra work, the extra project, the filled-up calendar … be thankful. That’s YOUR life you’re living.

For the free night, the filled night, the busy night, the imperfect night, say a little prayer for the power of closure — and for how the sun rises to give us a new day each day.

For the illness that puts everything into perspective, thank it as well. It has given you a renewal like no other.

For the days when no one calls, no one emails, no one sends a Facebook message, or retweets your tweets … say yes to the strong confidence you are demonstrating. Say yes to the solitude. Say yes to the pause.

For the days you feel like you are doing it all or can’t do it all. For the days that just tear you up inside and leave you shaking your head in disbelief or anger. Especially anger.

Say it with me.

I am grateful.

What crazy life experience are you grateful for today? Please share!

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The benefits of a gratitude practice

December 28, 2011 by 10 Comments

Think Like A Tree

Soak up the sun

Affirm life’s magic

Be graceful in the wind

Stand tall after a storm

Feel refreshed after it rains

Grow strong without notice

Be prepared for each season

Provide shelter to strangers

Hang tough through a cold spell

Emerge renewed at the first signs of spring

Stay deeply rooted while reaching for the sky

Be still long enough to

hear your own leaves rustling.

~Karen I. Shragg

My gratitude journal began on January 1st as the first of many life changing techniques I discovered while reading that amazing book “Simple Abundance.” In the beginning, I truly struggled what to write, and often felt that I was writing the same things day after day. I berated myself for never having enough to be grateful for in life.

I kept writing, hoping that what the author said would be true: It would pay off in the end. More would come back to me if I was more grateful.

And then in mid May when my husband lost his job as a result of a merger I could have easily given up completely. It would have been easy to close it up, toss it to the back of the night stand and never fill it out again. I was that angry. It could have easily seemed as if there was no grace to find, no gratitude to offer.

I was angry at so many people at that time. We lost our security — as if the earth moved and the dirt crumbled beneath our feet, leaving us feeling unstable, uncertain. Never a good place to be. Never a good feeling. Never something I’d want anyone I love to deal with in their lifetime.

I could have given up that gratitude practice. At that point, to be honest, I wasn’t sure the gratitude concept was working.  We were spinning with devastation and worry about our place in our town, our place in our friendship circle, our place in the world.

Over the course of five months, we rewrote who our friends really were (they were the ones that checked in on us periodically, sent us job leads and asked how we were holding up). We rewrote what we wanted in life. We rewrote what it means to feel safe, secure and at peace in our hearts. We rewrote what living is about.

And, for me, I kept writing at least five things that I was thankful for in my life. Every day. Five more things. Then five more. Five and then five and then five.

Here’s what I learned from this gratitude practice:

  • When you experience such a loss, it might seem easier to just hate on everything. What came from the daily gratitude, however, was immense clarity. Life became about the ones who cared about us. I have released myself from those who I barely heard from, not even once.
  • While I did skip days here and there during that time, I kept writing each and every Grace into that little book with a little tree on the front that keeps me grounded. That keeps me still and centered. It’s almost like that little book has become a source of peace, a source of comfort.
  • What also happened during the past year is that I realized that I needed to reach out to others as I wished them to reach out to me. I loved Elissa Elliott’s post on this concept. In fact, I have now made it my mission to do simple acts of grace for others.
  • Now, nearly a year after it all began, some things have clearly started coming back to us.Gifts from strangers. Kindness in rare forms. A job. New friends. Perhaps we’re just more aware now of the little things that mean so much. Perhaps it’s a bit of karma. Perhaps giving is the one gift we all need in our lives.
  • And I can barely stop at 5 things now each night. I usually go beyond five. Maybe I’m just more aware. Maybe these gifts of gratitude were always here. Maybe they are new. Each one, though, is like a tiny snowflake — unique, different and precious.
  • That we do really have to think like a tree and listen to our own leaves rustling. And, perhaps more importantly, we have to listen carefully to the leaves of others rustling as well.

Listen.

In gratitude.

And Love.

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Filed Under: Abundant Mamas, Intentional Parenting, Motherhood, Playful Living Tagged With: , , , , , , ,