Inspiring families to find their happy place.

A Mother’s To-Do List

Photo by jdn via Flickr

This past weekend, I hosted a writing retreat/workshop. I began these workshops years ago when my girls were a little younger.

I tell people: I have to write or else I get very cranky.

Writing is my way to understand myself and the world around me.

On Saturday, during the retreat, I went barefoot splashing in puddles, walking through mud and climbing on the wall of our church grounds — all to get a sense of what it feels like to be young again.

As my feet slipped into the mud under the amazing Beech tree, I remembered something.

I’m still me.

I still have dreams.

I still need to create and build things for myself.

As much as my world is about raising children into adults, it’s also about the fact that I have a full life ahead of me as well.

I’ve talked about living an inspired life before but never have I set an intention like this one where I encourage you to set some goals that will lead you closer to what stands far on the road before you. Let’s set our dreams on fire this week.

Photo by jdn via Flickr

Motherhood is often the time when we sit back and wait — wait for the perfect moment, wait for the quiet, wait for the children to be asleep or older or in school. But dreams do not die. They live in us until we figure out a way to give them life. Your dreams are your dreams. If you aspire to be a great painter some day then you must paint.

Our to-do lists are full of tasks for everyone else. This week’s intention is about a mother’s to-do list. YOUR to-do list.

Motherhood is no excuse to put dreams on the back burner. To me, motherhood is the very reason to jump into a goal feet first. Sometimes — despite all my preaching about the importance of spending time with your children — you need to make yourself happy.

Being Awesomely Awake is as much about nurturing yourself as it is about nurturing your children.

By finding our own happiness and modeling it, our children learn the importance of setting their own goals and learning how to make them come true.

So start your to-do list and follow your dreams, whereever they may take you.

1. Write down your dream.

2. Send it out into the Universe either here, on your own blog or Facebook page.

3. Create a list of things you can do today to get you started on a path to achieving your goal.

Maybe it’s a simple dream — like to travel to some amazing place. Or, maybe it’s much bigger and more overwhelming, like starting your own business.

What is your dream? What is on your to-do list this week? What will you do just for youself this week?

Whatever it is, whereever it is … may it be so.

[box title="Wake Up" color="#333333"]Every Monday, we publish a weekly intention that is intended to get you thinking, moving and acting like an Awesomely Awake parent. Sign up for the Wake Up ezine to get a bonus intention each week as well.[/box]

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Storytelling for tired parents

Do you ever watch a child’s focus when you’re reading a book to them? Do you feel that intimate connection they have with the characters and their actions? It’s magic, really.

As a writer and mother, I want to create that fairy tale experience for my children day in and day out. Is that realistic? Is that even necessary? Probably not.

But, to be honest, I don’t always have the energy to create shimmery experiences. I juggle a lot of things. So when the time comes to tell a story — a fresh, original story — I am often at a loss (even though I’ve written a novel!). I can sit and write anything at any moment in a day but to tell a good story that will stir magic in my children … well, that’s tough sometimes, especially at bedtime.

I’ve been trying to bring back the storytelling experience at home after taking a long break from it simply for no reason other than the kids have been learning to read and that’s so exciting. But, they are also learning to write — and above all, I hope to raise great writers and creative human beings. Anytime we share stories, we create connection. And, as an added benefit for parenting, it sparks imagination.

The truth is ANYONE, anyone, anyone can tell a story anywhere, any place and any time.

{Wow, that’s the magic, isn’t it?}

Stories are great while traveling to school, waiting at the doctor’s office, long road trips as much as they are great for bedtime, quiet time or family time around a blazing fire in the fireplace.

Here’s my list of tips for Storytelling for Tired Parents:

TELL THE TRUTH: When tired, the best stories are the ones that you can tell that are true. But don’t just tell it. Return to that story of your own childhood that is so memorable. Embellish the details, if you must, but tell the real deal. My girls love to hear me tell the story of how I spent a lot of time on my friend’s farm as a child playing super girls and *this* super girl fell into a manure pit while trying to climb a rope down a stone wall. My husband retells the story of a crow that his mother has told the grandchildren many times.

GO WITH THEIR PASSIONS: If your darling son loves dinosaurs — and who doesn’t? — then create a story about a Dinosaur. If your sweet girls love princesses and castles, make up your own fairy tales. I have retold the same story of two princesses that love to read but their books turn up missing after being stolen by the scary dragon in the dungeon a million times and my girls just loved it.

GO WITH YOUR PASSIONS: Maybe you are a new dad and you love fast cars but you had to sell one to get that minivan. Well, stories can bring those fast car days back in vivid ways. Or, perhaps you have a love of nature and the respecting the earth, as our family does, and so set stories around the message that you wish to send to your kids about appreciating the world around them by incorporating those elements.

INVOLVE YOUR CHILD: The thing about raising children {or grandchildren} is that we get to involve them in many things. Storytelling is no different. In fact, giving them most of the responsibility will only promote their imagination and creativity. You can ask your child to pick the character and story line. You give details and when you are stumped — and we all are sometimes — we ask them to give us a new character or a new plot to follow. Clarissa commented on my post 25 Ways to Just Be with your Children with this great tip: “We also tell stories where one of us starts and the rest fill in the blanks. Just random: “Once upon a time there lived a little girl named….(let the kids fill it in) and also a boy named… And their favorite place to go was… And at the _____ they saw a beautiful …, etc. my kids just love it! It gets their creative minds flowing too.” The beauty of this is that almost any age can participate.

PLAY A GAME: One of my favorite games to play with the girls is Remember when … Remember when we drove 750 miles to Gigi’s house and had to stop 100 times (exaggeration) because you were so little and you couldn’t sit for long periods of time? Remember when we took a walk while drinking hot chocolate? Remember when we went on that pirate ship and were shooting water cannons at other pirates? Thus, the magical reminiscing begins and continues and this game WILL go on for a very long time so remember this for long trips. Always save the most effective stories for the hardest times.

USE PROPS: Puppets, stuffed animals, little figurines, baby dolls, Barbies, cars and boats and train sets, action figures, wooden blocks. Use your pets, too. We often use our fish, Swimmy, as a story trigger in the mornings. These are all the starts of deep lands of imaginary characters and places that you can create for your child. Go there with them. Get lost in the land of parking garages and dragon-slaying knights. Once you get started {the hardest part} you will find the magic.

The ideas are pretty much endless. For this weekend, let’s practice bringing back the storytelling.

Here are your Honoring the Family weekend links with storytelling resources. We can be tired but that just can’t be our excuse anymore. We’ll always be tired as long as we’re raising children. Our time to fill their curious minds with our stories, our love is right now.

Bring the Family Together with Storytelling

Simple Storytelling by Simple Kids

Child of Wonder: Nurturing Creative & Naturally Curious Children,” by Ginger Carlson. {She has a great section on storytelling. As well as Yes Days. And asking questions. }

Happy Family Time! I’d love to hear about some of your favorite ways to keep stories alive in your family.

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Crumbling rough drafts of me

“Living involves tearing up one rough draft after another.” Unknown

As I’ve sifted through the journals of the last several years of my life — both the years I fought infertility and the years since I became a mother of twin girls — I’ve learned some startling things about myself. I’ve had to throw out a few rough drafts of who I thought I was at the time. They were good. I liked them. They worked at the time. Some may even work again some day. Who knows?

But, they no longer work. Projects I thought were great then are no longer.

I’ve known for a while that I have seasons of creativity — seasons when I produce more, seasons when I produce less, seasons when I dream more, seasons when I dream less. All of these seasons, no matter the outcome, led me to the same themes, themes I have often ignored.

I have always put practical before the dreams, which is why so many drafts have been tossed out. They never felt right. They never felt authentic. They never ignited a true spark that I could stick with and sustain.

I struggle very much with sustainability. I get fired up about an idea and then, later, it fizzles or I fizzle or we all fizzle and then I’m left wondering how I got into this mess and, more importantly, how the hell can I get out now that I have no fire burning inside of me for it.

But going through these journals has elevated the fact that I am on the right path, finally. The same amazing themes have popped up over and over and over in my writings.

I’m OK now that I’ve had a few — OK, several — rough drafts of myself over the years. In fact, there has been too many to count. It will be easy for me to lead my daughters down a path of authenticity — to live a life that they measure for themselves — knowing that we never know what we’re going to be in life. Enjoy the ride. Go with the flow. Let your passions lead you, let your heart lead you and then let your brain bring you back, reel you back in and help you find that balance of what is right, what works, what doesn’t and where you should go next.

The doors open all the time. Some of us know how to notice that, others do not. Not every door is the right door but they all certainly lead us on the right journey — our journey.

I’d like to think that now, just a couple years shy of turning 40, now as an experienced mother, now as a true creative soul who has embraced Living as Art that I may not need to throw out any more drafts. I’d like to keep this draft. I may tweak it a bit. I may change a few things around. I may even toss out a few big paragraphs that I thought were really good. But I like myself more now than ever.

For the first time, I respect myself and who I’ve become. It’s pretty radical, really, to be here in this place of such self-love.

And, I’m OK with throwing it all out to the wind if I must. I”ll just be really surprised because I’m awesomely awake now and I just get myself. I hold no more apologies of who I am. I not only know my values but I trust them as my guiding force.

The draft was always mine to keep and tweak. The story was always mine to plot.

The ending is mine as well.

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Unearthing the goodness in our souls

 “Imagination is the divine body in every being.” William Blake

The following are some of the questions I’ve asked myself over the past few years. For some, there are answers. For others, I’m still seeking. Seeking and seeking.

What scares you?

How can you outsmart your fears?

What makes me different?

How do you wish to bloom?

What turns you off?

What turns you on?

What energizes you?

What inspires you?

What makes you smile?

Who do you admire?

Who in your life is living their dreams?

What is begging to take action.

What would you do right this minute if you knew you couldn’t fail?

What is a village to you?

How can I change this situation?

How can I accept this situation?

How can I Own my creative soul?

What is my purpose?

What am I good at?

What do I love to do?

How am I beautiful?

What do I have to say in this world?

These questions have helped me understand my true self, my authentic self. I have written pages and pages — hundreds, really — of pages trying to understand myself, to tap into that nagging presence inside me.

In a startling inspiring moment, I started sifting through all of those pages. I’ve kept them all. I’m in the process of unearthing them and putting them into one spiral bound binder — the start of something Big. Perhaps it will become my business plan. Perhaps it will become a Source for writing. Perhaps it will unveil something I do not yet know could even imagine right now, at this very moment in time.

The end result, though a mystery, is already proving a good exercise in authenticity. I see common threads of things written five, four, three, two years ago. It’s all been there, all in my mind. It’s my job to wake to what has been calling my Name — my real name — and let it be so.

 What questions help you dig deep and uncover your truest self? What are you asking yourself over and over to unearth the goodness inside of your soul?

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