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- Original Photo Credit: Roger’s Wife via Flickr
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Sometimes we have to start over, again and again.
Beginnings can be diffiult. That’s why I chose this intention this week.
It’s one thing to try to have better days.
But what about the days that just aren’t happy?
Often, after a bad day or a bad moment or a bad decision we want to dwell in the negative. Arguments tend to put us into these dark places and we don’t know how to snap ourselves or our children out of them.
It’s not always easy to embrace these kinds of new beginnings. In fact, moving on into new territory can be rather frightening and tiresome. It can feel like losing. Like battle.
But moving on is necessary. Oh so necessary.
And, when we choose to move on, forgive and offer up a big cold glass of GRACE, we feel better. Instantly.
Take a recent morning that included a lot of sibling rivarly and kids just generally not doing what they needed to do.
I yelled.
There were a lot of tears and blaming.
Then, after a bit of a pause … I cracked a joke.
“Why did the chicken cross the road?”
We all started laughing, again. And then we told jokes all the way to school.
I’d call that morning a good morning. We forgot the drama. We fell into Grace’s warm, peaceful arms.
Photo Credit: Phishtitz via Flickr
Just how do we reclaim those awful, dreadful, really bad moments that leave us wanting to give up? How do we turn things around? How do we turn lemons into lemonade or lemon pie or lemon cookies or lemon sorbet?
{Yum, lemon.}
The Art of Turning Things Around when you have children is one of those essential life lessons that parents don’t often share. But, we’re a village here and Villagers need to speak up and out for each other.
Now, I’m turning to you for your help with the answers.
How do you turn a bad day around? What silly games do you play? What silly jokes do you tell? What silly dances do you muster up and crack out to bring laughs through the tears? What about turning around a fight with your partner or spouse? What about bouncing back from a weird thing with a friend?
I will take your BEST responses and I will publish them with your name by your idea. If you have a Website, I will publish that as well. By leaving a comment with your name, you are agreeing to allow me to use your words and ideas.
Let’s be clear. This is a Call to Action. You must leave a comment below along with your name, where you live {State/Country} and your e-mail so that I can contact you for more information. For deadline’s sake, let’s say you need to give your responses by Aug. 1st.
Please spread this message loud and clear. I’d love to get responses from parents from all over the world, from all walks of life, from family’s with one child or a dozen.
This is a big deal. This is our village. To stay awake, we have to be able to move past the rough patches and into the light of fun and happy — like a bowl of sunshine. To live mindfully, we have to stop focusing on where fault lies and start leading with our hearts.
We all want Happy Days. We all want Happy Hearts.
Share your ideas below.
I've often done a gratitude list – mentally or out loud to turn around a bad day. This reminds me that whatever I think is actually such a big deal and is SO AWFUL really isn't. With my little guys, we often do sing our favorite songs (Wheels on the Bus variations with versus that have to do with us and the Thomas the Train song). I also try to remind myself to enjoy the moment (find the silver lining if there is any or ask myself if it really does matter), if at all possible because sometimes what seems like a big deal, really isn't. I love this post of yours because it shows me that there are others on the same journey as me – http://jennifischer.blogspot.com/2012/05/meditation-monday-dont-sweat-small.html.
I am definitely still learning to do this and it takes tons of practice but I have to give credit to The Joyful Mother for also helping me. I breathe a lot now. I post the most amazing Mommy Mantras on my bathroom mirror every week to remind me about joy, gratitude, changing our negative thoughts to postitive ones. I apologize and say I love you to my kids often and ask for starting over. Again, I just started learning about not feeling so guilty and beating myself up. But when I am calmer (I breathe out my anxiety), my kids behavior is so much better. I am so glad I found all of these great resources…you, the Joyful Mother, Aha Parenting, and Mindful Moms Network…and since I am now a FB junkie and read so many great articles…just joined the Hands Free Revolution!! To connect more with my kids, and put my phone down! Thank you for your wonderful posts! Keeps me on the right track.
What I do is not elaborate, time consuming, or probably even unique, but it does the trick!
When I feel as if I'm about to reach my mental breaking point, I simply make the conscious decision to start over.
I go to my significant other, who is now accustomed to this method, and ask "Shall we start the day over?"
He always agrees, and we begin our "new day".
"Hey! I love you!" *smooch*.
Then, we are sure to avoid any of the activities or subjects that were associated with the "old day".
that sounds fantastic
I have a few ways that help get out of hard times with my 2 and a half year old son–whether he’s tired or in need of attention or just being SO TWO. Whatever the reason, grumps occur. And when they get really bad, I ask, “Can I take your grumpies away?” I sweep my hand over his face like I’m drying it with a towel and then make a throwing motion–taking the grumpies and throwing them away! Sometimes it takes a few tries to catch on, but smiles always result. Sometimes he volunteers to do it without me asking and we make up funny things to do with the grumpies–throwing them in the trash, off the balcony, etc. This is also really useful when I have reached the end of my rope–I ask him to take my grumpies away, too, and it becomes the sweetest moment when seconds before, it was the most trying time.
We also have started our day over again, literally. If a tantrum presents itself early in the day, I get my son back in bed, pull up covers, turn out light, close the door. Then I wait a few breaths, open the door, and pretend like nothing happened, just greeting each other with love and cheerfulness.
All awesome ideas!!
My kids and I find that getting outside in the fresh air can change our day around ~ so a walk or just outside play is good!
When things get out of hand, we have an agreed upon reset word. If the word is spoken by either party all fighting stops. It’s good to know that you have a way to stop if we find we are disagreeing about nothing important, which is usually the case.
I find that when I’m really upset and feel like this terrible situation, whatever it may be, is the worst, most terrible thing that’s ever happened to me it can change everything to just let myself feel terrible: Really delve into the feelings, and think out the situation. That’s when I usually find light at the end of the tunnel. Sometimes a profound shift in my mood can occur just by simply letting myself feel crappy, then getting all the way through those crappy feelings to the other side
Honestly when I'm really really upset about something or some situation the best thing I can do to calm myself down is to go running. The endorphins and pounding the pavement really help me get a fix on the situation and get me out of my self loathing emotional pity pot and into a more rational, problem solving, determined kind of attitude.
http://jewishhomeschool.blogspot.com/2012/06/maintaining-sanity.html
We head outdoors ~ as simple as that and as quick as we can. The change of scene, fresh air and physical feeling of extra space works wonders. Even if it's lunchtime we've been know to grab coats, stop by the store to buy a quick what-have-you-got picnic and then head to the park to eat it. {I'm from the UK and you can find me here http://nurturestore.co.uk/ }.
I try to take deep breaths and find something to laugh about. Even when the kids are making each other (and me) crazy, they will make a face that I can laugh at to lighten my mood. And music always helps too! Plus, I find that the bad days really make me appreciate the good ones, so I try to keep those fresh in my mind for when I need them! http://www.mommywithselectivememory.com/2012/01/bad-days-really-make-me-appreciate-good.html
Thanks for the fun project!!
I think about all the reasons I have to be grateful. Sometimes I'll read the scriptures or a church magazine – which tell of how members are helping people in underprivileged countries – reminding me again that I have food, fresh water and medical accessibility. I have a picture by my sink of a girl carrying a pitcher of water reminding me that all I have to do is turn on the tab to get fresh water.
Sometimes I go outside and look at our beautiful world, feed our chickens and guineas, and watch the butterflies or pull weeds in the garden, or take a walk in the country. Sometimes I'll spend more time with my daughter who always has a hug for me reminding me that I have a family who loves me. Some days, I ask myself: "Wat difference will this make a year from now? How will this affect me in eternity?" which put things into perspective for me. I can always find comfort in the scriptures and answers tor my questions or concerns.
Susan Case, TX, USA, susancasetexas@gmail.com.
Beautiful sentiments.
Take a walk in the sunshine!
~Minnesota
As a family child care provider, I have had to find some tricks to turn a day around. Music has always been helpful for me, so now when the day gets hectic or things just go wrong, I will put on some of my favourite music and we will dance our troubles away.
Pigtails!! oh and fun music!! You can’t be upset when you have pigtails and are acting silly.
I’m not even sure exactly how this started in our family, but it works nearly every time! If the kids are
fighting (teenagers, ugh), my spouse and I are having a moment, or if the little one is feeling picked on, all it takes is an old Muppets song to turn it around! It’s called Manamana. Check it out on YouTube. There are two parts and all it takes is for one of us to sing the first word and somewhere in the house a grumpy teen or mad ten year old will undoubtedly chime in with “ba ba da da” and before you know it, we are all singing along and the moment has passed. It’s a quick 5 minutes that usually results in lots of giggles!
That’s a great story. We saw the Muppets Movie and, sure enough, the Manamana turned us around as well! : ) Thank you for triggering such a good turn around!
I call it stop, drop and breathe. Or taking a time out. First I need to have the awareness of my stress levels – I need to notice that my shoulders are up to my ears and my brain is full of screaming voices about what should or should not be done. Once I have this awareness, and it can be tough sometimes when the pace is frantic or I am fully committed to my position, then I take a break and remove myself to another room (even the bathroom if I am uncertain that my request for privacy will be granted!) and I breathe. If my brain is so busy and so engaged in the battle that I have trouble then I just simply focus on counting my breaths. I do this until I have calmed right down and have regained my objectivity. Stop, drop and breathe.
I stop everything …take a break…get down with my kids…dance and jump with then, wrestle especially with my son, and then tickle like crazy!