“I love Dr. N.,” my daughter said recently about her principal, a wonderful woman who has been kindly mentoring her in advanced math.

We were eating dinner.

I had made tacos. Hers was broken in half and topped with the perfect amount of refried beans and cheese, just as she likes it, and a generous side of avocado. She asked for more. I encouraged her to eat what she needed to take care of her body.

We had just spent a great deal of time outside where I counted how long it took her to run around the backyard and back. I must have counted for 20 laps, each lap her times were shorter and shorter. She was proud of herself. I encouraged her to keep trying her best.

Earlier still, we sat on the couch and talked about her day. She told me about children who were not nice to her and we planned new ways to react in those situations. She felt secure. I encouraged her to stand up for herself.

“I wish I was her child,” she said, the words slipping out of her mouth the same way toppings so easily crumble after that first bite of a hard taco shell.

My body went weak.

My heart sunk.

And I literally fought tears — the kind that lump in your throat, but the ones you fight furiously because THIS WILL NOT HURT ME.

She’s a kid.

I could tell she regretted saying it as soon as she heard the words hit the air and bounce back into her own mind.

I could tell she wanted to change it, to take it back.

I could see the hurt forming in her eyes.

Her twin sister felt the sting of the pain immediately as well.

“Don’t say that to Mommy,” she blurted out. “I love you, Mommy.”

This is it, isn’t it?

The trenches.

No one can prepare you for this.

There isn’t any such thing as Mom Armor.

I didn’t have to say anything to my daughter that evening about her words.

I trust that she knew it wasn’t really true.

I trust that this was just one more ouch that will happen in a lifetime of many.

I trust that I am good enough, even though I sometimes don’t feel like I am.

She doesn’t realize how great her childhood is now but she will some day.

But I know what she was thinking.

I know why she said it.

I understand completely.

She wants someone to pay her special attention. She wants someone to encourage her and make her feel special. She wants to feel loved. And smart. And worthy.

And respected.

“Me, too,” I want to tell her.

Me, too.

Has your child ever said anything to you that hurt? Do you want to feel these things also?

“Wake up, that’s what my children say to me each day. They say it when they tell me about their dreams at night.”

I am truly honored to offer this introduction of a guest post I wrote for Cheerio Road, the online home of Zen Buddhist Priest and “Momma Zen” Author Karen Maezen Miller — a longtime friend who saved me from my own thoughts years ago and continues to do so today. Please click through and read it.

We sat in a circle in the lovely, peaceful home of Lil Omm Yoga Studio in Washington, DC.

I listened as Maezen’s voice soothed me. It sounded just as I had remembered from the year before when she led a workshop for mothers.

“Buddha means awake,” she said to a group of dozens of mamas like me.

My eyes lit up.

I had no idea.

{Continue Reading}

~Johann Von Goethe

This is Week 20 of {Project 52} Stay Awake. You are welcome to join in anytime during this year-long mindful living photo project. please upload your photos to our Project 52: Stay Awake Flickr group so we can see what an Awake life means for you. And, if you also use Instagram please use the hashtag #awakeproject13.

Perhaps this is the biggest tip of all to staying awake.

Trust.

And, as I head into self-employment this week, I’m calling upon this little piece of advice not just as a mother but as a woman walking into her own power and claiming a dream. Uncertainty is not something I handle easily but I have learned so much in the last several years about trusting. The second I start to trust more and let go more I am more awake and feel more alive to what being alive is all about.

I’ve learned in The Abundant Mama Project that almost all of us — mothers around the world — are going through something right now. A failed adoption. The loss of a loved one. An angry child. Saying good-bye to a foster child. A husband that drinks too much. A mother who doesn’t mother. A thrown out back. Being new to town and not knowing anyone.

All of these things — ALL OF THEM — require one simple thing.

Trust.

As in let go and fall back and let yourself be surrounded by love and light.

Trust.

As in you are strong enough to handle this.

Trust.

As in this moment is perfect because it’s your only one so grab it by the cheeks and kiss it.

Trust.

As in everything is already in motion, the wheels are already turning and all you have to do is enjoy the ride because you just do not know where you’re going to end up.

Trust.

As in believe in yourself like you did when you were 7 years old and you really thought you could fly — and then try.

The Abundant Mama Project brings women around the world together to learn to trust themselves a bit more as mothers, women and dreamers and tap into their own inner abundance. I cannot wait to bring it back later this summer in a big, big way.

This week for Project 52: Stay Awake notice those dreadful, dreary, hurtful moments when you aren’t trusting yourself (also known as gremlins, monkey mind, living in fear, doubting yourself, comparing yourself or your way, or when you feel insecure or inferior or lack self-confidence). And when you notice it happening, repeat my favorite mantra … TRUST.

Feel free to demonstrate this challenge in any creative way you can in a photograph – it’s entirely up to you. Some of these challenges may work better for words but drawings would work, too. Draw and then share. You can certainly use photo of you trusting your footing, or trusting a decision would always work. A photo of you trusting in a higher power or Universal Love could work as well. Maybe your trusting your child to climb that rock for the first time or letting your tween go off in the neighborhood for the first time.

However you demonstrate it, put the trust in yourself, though, because you are the one who needs it.

I’d love to know what you are trusting right now. Or, what doubts and fears are holding you back from trusting.

Please add your links to any blog posts you write related to this project in the comments below!

Want more JOY in your days?

I have designed The Playful Family Adventure to lead your family on a unique and fresh adventure that offers a ton of ideas for creating joy, playfulness and peacefulness in your daily routines and mindset. Get ready to feel at ease, for once.

{Click the photo to check it out!}

“The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.”

~ e.e. cummings

Her lips formed into that perfect, oh-so-tired pouty face. Arms crossed. Head down.

She exudes stubbornness.

Of course. It was 7:30 p.m.

She’d been up since 5 a.m., unable to sleep — a challenge she faces quite often.

Hugs didn’t work.

Tickles didn’t work.

Offers of a bedtime snack didn’t work.

Visions of a long, drawn out fussy bedtime flashed through my mind and I recalled my favorite parenting tool — a trick I didn’t get from a book or watch on a morning television show or anywhere else for that matter. The one tip that I made up that still works, after all these years.

“Oh, no!” I said. “You didn’t let someone take your joy again, did you?”

The poutyness faded just a tiny bit. She nodded her head.

“Well, we have to find it.”

I stood up angrily and started searching under everything, on top of everything and inside everything.

“Is it in here?” I asked her, pointing to her trash can.

She shakes her head no.

“Is this it?” I ask her, holding up a porcelain yellow and purple polka dotted duck she painted herself.

She shakes her head again, a smile beginning to form around her lips.

“Is this it?” I ask, holding up the latest Wendy’s kids meal toy figurine.

She shakes her head no.

This game continues and continues until I reach under her bed and find her pillow — a pink and purple pillow in the shape of a J.

J is her initial but we’ve long forgotten that.

To her, it’s her JOY pillow.

She sees her joy and her eyes light up like fireworks — big, beautiful and memorable.

Joy was found!

That night, she hugged her J pillow tighter than ever and fell asleep with a smile on her face.

Sometimes, it’s really that easy to find our happiness.

I’d love for you to tell us a story about how joy walked into your day, unexpectedly or intentionally.

Want more JOY in your days?

I have designed The Playful Family Adventure to lead your family on a unique and fresh adventure that offers a ton of ideas for creating joy, playfulness and peacefulness in your daily routines and mindset. Get ready to feel at ease, for once.

{Click the photo to check it out!}

I just love that quote. This is the introduction to a post I wrote that’s up over at A Natural Nester today. Nature — and all of this life — truly is a gift and sharing it together is a great family activity.

“Is it up in that tree?” she said, standing close to the trunk, pointing up. Her head was tilted straight back.

I tilted my head back, too. “I don’t know. I don’t see anything.”

Hey you!

Ready to enjoy life a bit more

Ready to stop stressing and start laughing more?

Now’s the time.

Register now for The Playful Family Adventure – and start enjoying life more!

Oh sweet mother, raising children is so hard.

I get emails every single day from moms who live around the world who tell me that I am helping them be the parent they always wanted to be. These moms tell me about how just moments ago they were crying and full of despair and then they read something I wrote and they have a whole new perspective on life. I adore these emails. I do a little happy dance when I get them.

Because being a parent isn’t the end of your life. It’s not a life sentence.

Parenting simply cracks us open to a new, beautiful world. You just have to be willing to open your heart and mind to it all.

There will be days you hate. Moments you hate. Struggles you hate. Conflicts you hate. Sacrifices you have to make.

There will even be days you want to give it all up.

Don’t.

Parenting is your adventure right now.

Live it. Own it. Be OK with it.

I am on a mission to sprinkle the world’s families with fairy dust that assures them that raising a child is challenging — for all of us — but it doesn’t have to deplete you of yourselves, your happiness, your dreams or your JOY.

You don’t have to count down the 18 years until you are free.

You can still have fun and play and enjoy life.

And chase your own dreams.

And you should.

So have fun. Relax. Let go.

Which is exactly why I am leading many families through The Playful Family Adventure this summer.

I am going to show you how to inject tiny bits of happiness and playfulness into your days so you get your happy self back (Yes, you are in there!).

Together we’re going to explore all the tools you need to survive this parenting gig … an adventure of its own!

Play.

Laugh.

Experience

Explore

Create.

Make Memories.

Wonder.

In other words — All the things we wanted to do when we decided to have kids.

Join me.

Let’s enjoy this parenting adventure together … and find our happy place so our children can learn to find theirs.

***To learn more, please check out The Playful Family Adventure page.***

Question of the Day: I’d love to see your I WILL NOT lists … share them below in the comments.

Last week, I sent all of you who receive my weekly newsletter a list of the things I will not do — at least for last week.

One of those things was rush my children unnecessarily — something I feel like I do way more than I should simply because of my work schedule and their school schedule. This is the case for any busy family. But, a lot of it is pressure we place on ourselves, not the reality of actually running late.

The picture of the bluebird above is an example of what can happen when we don’t rush. My girls were playing pretend baseball at a local park with their dad on Mother’s Day. I was cold, windblown and ready to leave at that point but I resisted my urge and just went with the flow.

Instead, after watching their game that involved throwing and hitting pretend balls that seemed to delight all three of them immensely, I made my way over to a birdhouse known for housing bluebirds. Only I wasn’t expecting to actually see one.

After three nice shots of the birdhouse — that I’d hoped to use on this site at some point —  a lovely bird poked its head out and stared right at me and after some intense decision making, she decided she’d better fly the coop. I caught this photograph of her about to leave her home.

I felt honored to be so up close with her and I realize that even a mother bird’s life is never easy.

This shot is evidence that slowing down is the best way to stay awake and feel alive.

In this photo, my daughters are talking to each other through an underground pipe. This went on for a while and we just let them do their thing because talking underground through a pipe is pretty awesome.

I pretty much never get negative around here. I never use a negative headline. I try to keep things positive, intentionally.

Life is hard — even harder with children.

We have dozens of things we need to do.

Many, many more that we want to do.

But, last week, my news newsletter’s subject line offered just three words.

I will not.

Inside that email, I told thousands of Mamas what I would not do.

My list was pretty long, I thought. I was reluctant to even share it.

And, at the end, I asked YOU to send me your own I will not lists.

As it was for me, dozens of you responded with the same liberating feeling with this exercise.

Finally! Something I don’t have to do!

You truly delivered. So I thought I’d share (confidentially, of course) what the many dozens of you said you will not do — and a few of your I wills, as well. Also, I did edit a few of these to make sure no one could be identified through their list.

{Project 52: Stay Awake} In the meantime, your challenge this week for Project 52: Stay Awake is to write your own I WILL NOT list or take a photo of something you will not do. Another load of laundry? Bite your nails? Yell. Let insignificant people consume your mind. Feel like you’re not enough. Whatever it is, own it. It’s your list.

Here we go with your responses | I will not …

I will not get upset about being in bridal party and I won’t feel anxiety about how much I can or can’t contribute.

I will not get upset at my husband for not parenting exactly the same way I do.

I will not take for granted the blessings we have in our life.

I will not compare my children to what others can or can’t do.

I will not fight what I cannot change.

I will not be anyone but me.

Turn the Bubble Guppies on so I can get something done other than playing with my 2-year old.

Get frustrated when he starts to whine for apparently no reason or continue to say, “mama, pick up”…which means carry me everywhere you go. This can be tough given he’s 35 pounds, but it is also the most precious thing he does.

Criticize my husband when he spends time with the baby because he isn’t doing it the way that I do it.

I won’t let the busyness of this week ahead overwhelm me.

I will not be on my iPhone while feeding my baby.

I will not let my thoughts linger on career regrets.

I will not eat without being mindful of what my body needs.

I will not snap at my husband.

I will not lose sight of living more simply.

I will not be overwhelmed.

I will not worry about what I can not control.

I’m not going to wash all the dinner dishes until after all the kids go to bed so that I can have the maximum amount of quality time with them.

I won’t worry about how dirty my kids are getting … Or how much of the dirt is coming in the house with them.

I will not worry about things that I can’t change.

I will not worry about how others view me.

I will not let myself get stressed about my nieces exam.

I will not send myself on a guilt trip about having to return to work after my maternity leave and having to leave my beautiful baby boy.

I will not allow my tiredness make me grumpy with my wonderful supportive partner. ( Please start sleeping through the night for mummy my hungry boy . . . every hour and a half . . . Really!)

I won’t tell my five y/o son twenty times a day to focus/pay attention.

I won’t use an irritated voice with him.

I won’t look in the mirror and denigrate myself for how my body looks.

I won’t procrastinate in the morning by looking at the news/email/Facebook instead of doing my morning yoga routine and taking the dog for a run.

I won’t be so quick to judge people around me.

I won’t focus only on what I didn’t get accomplished.

I won’t get so irritated and defensive with my co-workers.

Question of the Day: I’d love to see your I WILL NOT lists … share them below in the comments.

Happy Mother’s Day.

I offer one of my favorite quotes to you today.

The moment a child is born, the mother is also born.  She never existed before.  The woman existed, but the mother, never.  A mother is something absolutely new.  ~Rajneesh

Soap.

I never thought too much about it until I met Hayley, owner of Paintbox Soapworks.

Hayley and I met on Twitter — two creative, working mums (as she would call us).

We live in the same town. We both are mothers of first-graders.

But we got to know each other when she took a local writing course I was teaching. You really get to know people after six weeks of soul sharing.

She calls me her writing coach.

I call her my soap dealer because every time I see her she brings me more amazing soap or lotion – or my favorite, the sorbettos that are like sugar scrubs I wish I could eat they are that pretty.

I use her soaps daily. They are my favorite way to start my day — just after coffee and quiet time and hugging my family.

Her company, Paintbox Soapworks, is on Etsy. Pay close attention to the descriptions and narratives Hayley writes about her products.

What is so inspirational about her work is that the soaps seem like so much more than soap. They each have their own personality. Their own hipness and coolness.

They truly are a cast of characters.

Well, they are just like Hayley.

I’m honored she was our first sponsor around here and I’m even more honored to call her a friend.

**SPECIAL OFFER ** Anyone who purchases soap in May can use the Promo Code AWESOMELYAWAKE and Hayley will give you a discount of 10 percent!

It was a very long winter in our area of the world.

And spring has been slow to spring but it’s finally here.

No matter, we can watch nature from our kitchen windows.

Our backyard scenery includes a pair of ducks who visit annually to take a tip in our pool. Liana says they are on a date. Now and then a third duck comes and tries to woo the female and there’s a disagreement over that.

A bunny or three.

A groundhog. Who fell in our pool once and we had to call Wildlife Control to get his chubby self out of our skimmer.

A myriad of birds who used to live in our beautiful forsythia bushes that we sadly had to take down this week. One of my girls cried very hard because climbing under those bushes was like walking through the jungle and they enjoyed playing under there.

We love exploring nature.

This is how we stay awake and connected to the world around us.

And this past winter, we discovered that nature journaling can be a really great family fun activity.

I learned nature journaling recently from writer and blogger, Liz from The Natural Nester. I just adore her journaling ideas (surely you’ve seen me rave about them on Facebook) that bring me close to the wonderful world around us. {These are affiliate links. Please read my disclosure about affiliate links.}

This week, for our Playful Family Series, there’s no greater family fun than exploring nature and journaling about its wonders. My daughters and I have had a great time doing this together and they really enjoy the exercises we’ve learned in Liz’s amazing nature journaling e-courses.

In the meantime, I’ve been creating a great Pinterest board on Nature Journaling. Follow along and get yourselves ready to have some fun exploring and discovering.

Question of the Day: What kinds of animals do you have in your backyard or around your house to watch?