Inspiring families to find their happy place.

How to be Awesomely Thankful

Image Source: Mtsofan

 

Image Source: Mtsofan

Recently, a reader asked me about my Awesomely Thankful gratitude journal. What’s in it? What should she write? Can I share pictures?

Not every day can be great. Not as a parent. Not as a human being. Like you, I’ve had my times of difficult moments. Times when I felt left out. Times when I felt like I have no one in my life to really count on. Times when really bad things happen. Times of illnesses. Times of really difficult behavior challenges with the kids.

It’s not easy to be thankful when your day just feels plain awful.

But it is possible. I’ve been doing this practice for nearly two years. It has been life changing and I couldn’t imagine going to sleep each night without first saying thanks for all the blessings in my life.

Here’s how to find gratitude in the dark. Write just five things down in any journal you have lying around the house. Add the date to each entry. That’s it. Nothing fancy.

Here’s some prompts to spark your own gratitude practice:

1. Thank your body. Unless you’ve died, you still have plenty of reason to be thankful for your health. Even when something is wrong, there’s plenty that is still right. Being thankful for being alive is the single most important way to find gratitude during the hardest days. What is working well on your body today?

2. Thank those who show up. Lately, I’ve had to re-define what family means to me. It’s not what I thought it was, not when all of my family moved hundreds of miles away. I’ve since found ways to be thankful for the people who are showing up in our lives each and every week in new and amazing ways. From the friends we’re relying on to serve as our children’s emergency contacts to the people who are asking me how they can help when I’m sick. But not just them. I like to thank the people who make our lives better. Postal workers. Store clerks. Hairdressers. Who showed up for you today?

3. Thank the world around you. When times are really hard, I can always step outside and be grateful for something in nature. The sun shining. The moon rising. The rain quenching the earth. Birds chirping. Grass under my feet. What amazes you that’s outside your own web of life?

4. Thank what makes you happy. All things I write about seem to circle back to having happy days, and making memories. That’s right. Knowing that you are going to write in your journal is really a great way to practice making memories. Find the simple pleasures in life and do them each day. What makes you feel joy? What makes you happy? What brings you comfort? What makes you smile? Do those things. Write about them.

5. Thank your challenges. You may not always be ready for this one but eventually it’s good to see how the hard times are making your days better. For instance, when I was sick the past two weeks, I was thankful each day just for being alive and to have another day. I was pretty sick. : ) But, when we dealt with my husband’s lay off, we found ways to be thankful anyway. It’s the best way to pick yourself up. What hard luck story are you living right now and what’s the teachable moment  you’re learning and living as a result? How is your challenge making your life better?

6. Thank the kids. Of course, there’s always something wonderful and amazing about the kids. I write one line each about our daughters and what they’ve done to amaze me each day. Even when they’ve been in terrible state of minds, I write something good about them. It brings it all into perspective for me and our life together. It helps me see the big picture of where this is all going. What do you want to remember of your child today? What’s her talent? What’s his passion? What’s a quirky behavior that you can turn into a positive? What moment do you not want to forget that happened today? Be thankful for those moments because they are the most fleeting.

7. Thank your partner. What did he do for you today? What did he do right? How was she helpful or how did she show you love today? Did he interact with the kids in a special way? Don’t forget to notice the golden moments of love in your own relationships whether you are married or not.

8. Thank all evidence of Kindness and Courage. Did someone do something special for you? Did you do something special for someone else? Did you take a risk today? Be thankful for your ability to make someone’s day or your own. I’m not talking words. I’m talking actions. Less talk, more action. Write about someone who went above and beyond for you or for someone you know.

9. Thank those celebrations, rituals and traditions. If you have any, write them down because they are super special. If your children create any, write those down. What do you do every Sunday morning? Where do you go every Saturday? How do you pass the days in meaningful, amazing ways?

10.  Thank the good stuff. Finally, of course, you must write about the good things that happen to you and to those you love. And, the longer your keep this journal, the longer this part of the list becomes. Trust me. It’s true. What good luck did you have today? What blessings fell upon your lap? Did you land that big project? Meet a deadline? What did you do that was amazing and worth remembering? Be thankful for the goodness you helped bring to yourself and to your family.

How about you? What are you thankful for today? 

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And this.

gratitude

My latest mantra after being sick for a week has been … “and this.”

Still, I am thankful for the illness that opened my eyes a little bit bigger, for the kindness I’m giving myself, for the ever-so-slight slower pace my body is moving.

You can be thankful, too.

For that someone or something that entered your life and graced it with sunshine or beauty or smiles or tears. Whatever it was, whoever it was … thank them. Write them a note, send it in a bottle or send it blowing in the wind on a leaf. Write them a poem. Give him a line in your gratitude journal. Name a star for her.

For that life changing moment that left you sobbing on the floor. Practice a touch of grace because it’s making you that much stronger.

For the extra work, the extra project, the filled-up calendar … be thankful. That’s YOUR life you’re living.

For the free night, the filled night, the busy night, the imperfect night, say a little prayer for the power of closure — and for how the sun rises to give us a new day each day.

For the illness that puts everything into perspective, thank it as well. It has given you a renewal like no other.

For the days when no one calls, no one emails, no one sends a Facebook message, or retweets your tweets … say yes to the strong confidence you are demonstrating. Say yes to the solitude. Say yes to the pause.

For the days you feel like you are doing it all or can’t do it all. For the days that just tear you up inside and leave you shaking your head in disbelief or anger. Especially anger.

Say it with me.

I am grateful.

What crazy life experience are you grateful for today? Please share!

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Wide Awake | The Katy Perry version

After this amazing week of illnesses and magic all mixed into one, I felt this video and this song is entirely appropriate. We are huge Katy Perry fans and can be found dancing to her music around the house as a family. Yes, as a family. Awesomely Awake dad included. I tried to take photos. : )

I hope you all have some magic — and unicorns — in your lives this weekend.

Let me know how you are staying awake this weekend.

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Meet Awake Hana

hana3

Super happy to interview Hana from A Happy Adventure. Please enjoy meeting her and please visit her site. She’s truly an Awake Mama!

 

How do you seek out meaningful moments in your everyday family life?

Sometimes it’s really hard, and I get stuck in the hectic chaos of running here and there and ‘Getting Things Done’… but I find that the more I grow as a Mama, I am really conscious of making sure my internal dialogue is positive, and that I am making my family a priority.   If I keep it in the front of my mind that my priority is to be intentional and make meaningful moments – then it’s easier to make sure it happens.  It’s funny too, because often the most meaningful moments aren’t the ones that have required a lot of thought or preparation, but simple moments of connection because I’ve been able to be present.  I love that we can be doing something relatively tedious – cooking, doing the laundry, grocery shopping… but if I make sure I’m really present with the girls then it can still be a highlight of our day.  I guess in the end, it’s all about how you frame a situation.  

Can you give us an example of when you’ve had to parent from your heart rather than being an authoritative parent?

When Ava was a baby, Barry (my husband) and I were completely lost.  We had never been around young children and had no clue what we were in for.  So as I have done throughout my life, I sought the answer in books.  I remember quite clearly reading books that told me that Ava should be sleeping for X number of hours, that I should never feed her to sleep, that she should self-settle, and being so anxious because none of it seemed to be working. I read about how we needed to teach our babies independence because that’s what society expects from them. During those first few months, I’m not sure who cried more – Ava or me!  It took me a long time to believe in my abilities as a parent enough to be able to trust my heart, rather than what some ‘expert’ recommended.   I’m happy to say, those books (which were well dog-eared during those first few months) haven’t been touched for years – and you know what?   I don’t think there is a ‘right’ way to parent anymore, I think most parents are just trying to do the best they can for their families – and I think as long as you follow your heart, you can’t go too wrong really.  

What’s your most magical family moment?

Ooh, that’s a hard one.  I think Christmas will always be my favourite time of year.  I love the excuse that Christmas gives me to make real magical moments for my little ones – watching their excited anticipation is awesome… and I just love the spirit of the season. With that being said, I love the rituals that we have built that are meaningful to our family.  I love that as our family grows, we are writing a story all of our own, that involves our own terminology and in-jokes – things like ‘Pancake Sunday’, bedtime rituals and secret handshakes – you know?

 How do you take care of yourself so you can take great care of your family?

I’m a real introvert.  I need time to myself to re-energise.  Once the girls go to bed, I really treasure that quiet time to read and create uninterrupted.  That is my refuelling. 

What does living fully in this world mean to you?

Oh man, sometimes I have one of those moments when I am just blown away that I am alive – that I am here and the world is at my feet (OTT right?! – but true!).  This is my life.  My chance.  We talk a lot about living fully in this world.  We want to make sure that every day we are making decisions that are intentional.  We know what our goals are, and we can work towards them, but also we know that we can’t just live for those big dreams – we have to try to make every day as amazing and memorable as we can – because it’s all those ordinary days that make up our lives. 

What do you love to create and how in the world do you find the time to do it?

Creatively speaking, I’m all over the place.  I think of almost everything as a creative enterprise.  My three big creative loves at the moment are sewing, cooking, and blogging (which is a huge catch-all, really).  As I mentioned earlier, once the girls go to sleep, that’s when I really get to spend time pursuing my creative passions, and I’m often up to the wee hours re-energising in this way.   As they grow, we are also able to spend time on creative family projects.  We recently finished making cushions inspired by their artwork … and it’s really lovely to be able to help them take a creative idea and make it a reality.  So I guess, in many ways I fit my creative pursuits into my day in many different ways – that’s how I get my fix!   We believe that being proud of EFFORT is the key to success. 

Give us an example of a time when you praised effort over achievement.

I really like to see the girls try new things.  Even if it isn’t their cup of tea, it’s so cool for them to give it a go – and there’s always the chance they will discover something really amazing.  They’re so little, they don’t always get things done the ‘right way’ – but it’s wonderful for them to have the opportunity to have a go.  They often help me around the house, in the kitchen or folding the laundry – and it might not get done the way I would do it, but they always feel so proud, like they are a real contributor to the family unit.  I feel as though it’s really important to praise their efforts and not undermine them by re-doing something that they have worked hard on.  I think that if I was to do this, it would discourage them from making an effort in the future.   Something that you are so happy you said YES to in your life. Hmmmm… I’m terrible at narrowing down my answers to something specific like this.  What can I say?  Life is pretty hectic but I’m so happy to have said yes to this chaos!  Some people look at me like I’m crazy – three girls under five – and sometimes I feel like I am a few sandwiches short of a picnic… but really, I wouldn’t have it any other way.  No matter what sort of day we’ve had, when we get to the end of the day and we’re reading a story in bed, I feel extraordinarily grateful for all that I have.  

How is your family living authentically?

 It’s hard, but we are trying to live our own adventure.  We are trying to make decisions that are right for us – to be intentional and not just follow the footsteps of others because that is easier or ‘normal’ or expected.  We don’t always get it right, but we are trying to be present every day, and be true to our beliefs and dreams. I guess that’s all we can do.

 

 

Hana is a stay-at-home Mama to three sweet gals – Ava, Lola and Belle.  Her family lives in a house on a hill on the outskirts of Auckland, New Zealand. She’s on a mission to raise curious, imaginative, confident, happy and wonder-filled children.  She blogs all about her quest to make magic every day at A Happy Adventure.  You can also find her (quietly obsessed!) on Pinterest!

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